A few months ago, I was walking into Target, when from behind me, came a loud, crashing, noise. I turned around and saw that a lady had just smashed her car into the back of another person's car, damaging their bumper and tail light. I stood there thinking, "Boy, I sure am glad that she didn't back into my car, and I am glad that I'm not her." I took my time walking into Target after I saw this happen. I must regrettably admit that I was being Ms. Judgment that day. I wanted to make sure she didn't drive off since she had done some significant damage to the other vehicle. I tried to convince myself that I was hanging around because it was my civic duty as a beneficial, contributing member of society, to look out for the other guy and make sure the right thing was done. I wanted to make sure that this lady owned up to what she had done. Well, she did re-park and make a phone call. This satisfied me. She seemed to be taking the proper steps to take care of it, so I went on in and did my shopping. When I came out, I saw that she was still there with the police and I knew that she had done the right thing.
A few weeks later, I walked out of Bed Bath and Beyond at the Summit. I got into my car, cranked it up, put it in reverse, looked in my rear view mirror, and backed out of my parking space the same as I always do; turning my wheel the proper amount to get out of the space and drive off. However, this time I didn't have the same result as I always do. This time, rather than being able to drive off happily, I plowed into the back of a large Ford extended cab pickup truck! The truck was hanging out of its parking space two feet more than the other cars. "Uh oh," I said, as I was in disbelief over what I had just done. I parked my car, got out, looked at my vehicle and it had a huge dent in it. Cringing, I then went over to the truck that I had hit and thoroughly inspected it. I didn't see a dent on it, not even a ding, not even a mark of paint, not even a....uh oh. There was the tee-tiniest little scuff mark in the world on the bumper. It was probably less than an inch or so in size, and it was so faint. I got my "mommy fix it bag" out, and went to wiping their bumper with a baby wipe, but guess what? The tiny little scuff mark still remained. It wasn't going to go away. I knew I needed to wait around for the driver of the vehicle to come out so I could show him what I had done (hoping he would let me off the hook of course).
After waiting around a good 20 minutes or so, I called my husband, Mike, and began convincing him and myself that there was no need to hang around any longer. I had come up with so many excuses as to why I thought it would be acceptable to drive off at that point. After all, it was barely even noticeable, and I had my little three month old Lydia in the car with me. I needed to go pick up Matthew from preschool. I needed to go get ready for a surprise jewelry party I was having at my house that night; and my husband has cancer and is going through chemo, and he said it would probably be OK to leave...you name it, I came up with it. Even though all of the things I mentioned were really going on, they still didn't give me an excuse to run from my current dilemma. After waiting this long, I convinced myself that the driver of the vehicle could have been in any number of stores; no telling where they were, or when they would be back. A handful of people had come out into the parking lot and left in their cars, but no one had come out to that ol' truck, so I left. Yes, I drove off.
I was running. I was taking complete control over the situation by not facing the situation at all. That's when God reminded me, "Tonya, don't you remember when you saw this happen to someone else just a few short weeks ago? Don't you remember what your response was? Even though no one hung around to make sure you did the right thing, I am here and I see you." "Uh oh," I thought again, as I glided off down Summit Parkway. Even though I feared what the outcome might be if I met face to face with the driver of the vehicle, I knew I needed to go back. God told me to turn around and make just one last loop around the parking lot; watching to see if anyone came out to that truck. So, I did and when I arrived, I parked next to the truck for a quick second. I briefly considered the idea of writing a little note to the driver stating what I had done with my phone number on it. I was just about to look for a pen and piece of paper, when I noticed a lady walking out into the parking lot headed in the direction of the truck. She was the driver of that big thing? How unexpected! She passed by the faint little scuff mark without skipping a beat, and began to open her door and get in. I hopped quickly out of my car, went over to her, and told her what I had done. She took a little gasp as she headed towards the back of her truck to look at the bumper. When she saw it, she let out a sigh of relief, and told me that she wasn't a bit worried about that. She told me not to worry about it, but she appreciated me hanging around to check with her. She was so sweet, gracious and forgiving. I let out a big sigh of relief, and thanked her for letting me off the hook. I realized it could have turned out differently.
As I drove off, I began to learn a much needed lesson that I wanted to share with you. Rather than attempting to control the situation, rather than running away from my problems, rather than letting fear direct me, I let go and let God that day. I put myself out there, and made myself vulnerable and I put it in His hands. I subjected myself to whatever He would allow to happen, and submitted myself to allow for His outcome. When I did this, I was met by grace. Not just the sweet lady's grace, but His grace. He showed me that I can trust Him and that He will take care of me, but I have to give up the control. He was helping me see I needed to give up the control, not just over this situation, but over all that I had been going through and am still going through. He wanted me to see that I can give it over to Him, and He will take care of me. No matter what happens, I will remain In His Arms.
~Tonya~
A few weeks later, I walked out of Bed Bath and Beyond at the Summit. I got into my car, cranked it up, put it in reverse, looked in my rear view mirror, and backed out of my parking space the same as I always do; turning my wheel the proper amount to get out of the space and drive off. However, this time I didn't have the same result as I always do. This time, rather than being able to drive off happily, I plowed into the back of a large Ford extended cab pickup truck! The truck was hanging out of its parking space two feet more than the other cars. "Uh oh," I said, as I was in disbelief over what I had just done. I parked my car, got out, looked at my vehicle and it had a huge dent in it. Cringing, I then went over to the truck that I had hit and thoroughly inspected it. I didn't see a dent on it, not even a ding, not even a mark of paint, not even a....uh oh. There was the tee-tiniest little scuff mark in the world on the bumper. It was probably less than an inch or so in size, and it was so faint. I got my "mommy fix it bag" out, and went to wiping their bumper with a baby wipe, but guess what? The tiny little scuff mark still remained. It wasn't going to go away. I knew I needed to wait around for the driver of the vehicle to come out so I could show him what I had done (hoping he would let me off the hook of course).
After waiting around a good 20 minutes or so, I called my husband, Mike, and began convincing him and myself that there was no need to hang around any longer. I had come up with so many excuses as to why I thought it would be acceptable to drive off at that point. After all, it was barely even noticeable, and I had my little three month old Lydia in the car with me. I needed to go pick up Matthew from preschool. I needed to go get ready for a surprise jewelry party I was having at my house that night; and my husband has cancer and is going through chemo, and he said it would probably be OK to leave...you name it, I came up with it. Even though all of the things I mentioned were really going on, they still didn't give me an excuse to run from my current dilemma. After waiting this long, I convinced myself that the driver of the vehicle could have been in any number of stores; no telling where they were, or when they would be back. A handful of people had come out into the parking lot and left in their cars, but no one had come out to that ol' truck, so I left. Yes, I drove off.
I was running. I was taking complete control over the situation by not facing the situation at all. That's when God reminded me, "Tonya, don't you remember when you saw this happen to someone else just a few short weeks ago? Don't you remember what your response was? Even though no one hung around to make sure you did the right thing, I am here and I see you." "Uh oh," I thought again, as I glided off down Summit Parkway. Even though I feared what the outcome might be if I met face to face with the driver of the vehicle, I knew I needed to go back. God told me to turn around and make just one last loop around the parking lot; watching to see if anyone came out to that truck. So, I did and when I arrived, I parked next to the truck for a quick second. I briefly considered the idea of writing a little note to the driver stating what I had done with my phone number on it. I was just about to look for a pen and piece of paper, when I noticed a lady walking out into the parking lot headed in the direction of the truck. She was the driver of that big thing? How unexpected! She passed by the faint little scuff mark without skipping a beat, and began to open her door and get in. I hopped quickly out of my car, went over to her, and told her what I had done. She took a little gasp as she headed towards the back of her truck to look at the bumper. When she saw it, she let out a sigh of relief, and told me that she wasn't a bit worried about that. She told me not to worry about it, but she appreciated me hanging around to check with her. She was so sweet, gracious and forgiving. I let out a big sigh of relief, and thanked her for letting me off the hook. I realized it could have turned out differently.
As I drove off, I began to learn a much needed lesson that I wanted to share with you. Rather than attempting to control the situation, rather than running away from my problems, rather than letting fear direct me, I let go and let God that day. I put myself out there, and made myself vulnerable and I put it in His hands. I subjected myself to whatever He would allow to happen, and submitted myself to allow for His outcome. When I did this, I was met by grace. Not just the sweet lady's grace, but His grace. He showed me that I can trust Him and that He will take care of me, but I have to give up the control. He was helping me see I needed to give up the control, not just over this situation, but over all that I had been going through and am still going through. He wanted me to see that I can give it over to Him, and He will take care of me. No matter what happens, I will remain In His Arms.
~Tonya~
2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Proverbs 3:6
In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.
Psalm 119:133
Direct my steps by Your Word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me.
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