$2

I wonder how many of you are like me. You are Clark Griswold. You try to make Christmas the most magical, special, fun filled holiday of the year. In this process, we normally wear ourselves out trying to make the magic happen. In the end, it never goes the way you planned. Someone ends up crying, yelling, or in my case a dog having diarrhea and me dry heaving; but I digress.

It's very easy to make a hallmark Christmas when you have plenty of money. When you are used to getting bonuses and they go away, because the economy is so bad, it gets hard. This will be our third year, I believe, with out the bonus, and it's the worse one yet. We were already behind due to a lot of extra bills this fall. If you live pay check to pay check, you know that once you get behind, it's hard to catch up quickly.

It's also my fault. I never want to say no to the family. Granted we don't have live an extravagant lifestyle by no means. But I want the family to feel normal and not know when we are financially strapped. Because of the three issues I have mentioned, Christmas is tight this year. We haven't had one in a while where I cried. Now, mind you, we're not starving. We have a roof over our head, God is good. But as Americans, we are spoiled! Every time I want to whine to God, I think about how I have clean water, heat, air, a house, a car etc. Then, I don't want to ask God for anything and feel bad all day.

I finally had to put my foot down this week and say no to everything. We didn't have money and I mean, I had a $20 in my pocket, and that was it. I told the kids not to ask for anything and get used to hot dogs and Ramen noodles this week. I went to Wal-Mart with my $20 to buy some groceries. We were out of milk, but as you know milk is almost $4. I didn't have the four dollars, so I went on and checked out. With the two dollars I had left, God spoke to me and told me to put the money in the Salvation Army basket that they have out during the holidays. We normally do this, but when you don't have money, you don't think about being so generous. I said, "Are you crazy? I only have two dollars!"  God said, "Put the money in and see what I do."

I did what God asked me. When I woke up this morning I found out that Keith made double what he normally would in tips, so I have enough for supper tonight and tomorrow. Then, I got an email from car insurance company saying I would get money back, and my bill would be less this month. This is something my insurance company does every year, but the fact I found out the next day after doing this meant something to me.

It was my fault for spending too much, and trying to turn this holiday into a material one. I was not a good steward with my money. But, even in my sin, my brokenness, God still had compassion for me. Because I obeyed Him, He still blessed me. God is good to me always. I wish I could say the same about myself. It's all a learning lesson. I am so thankful I have a God that loves me more than I deserve and takes care of me. Maybe this year, I should start a new tradition at Christmas....that doesn't involve presents!